DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together 20 years, married for 12.

We have weathered ex-spouses, step-parenting, nine military deployments between us, serious health issues and everyday normal life. My husband is an infinitely better person than I am, and I have always tried to care for him. We are in our early 40s and recently retired.

This year, our children will be out of the house, and we have bought a beautiful home in a dream location for the two of us to start our next adventure together. I love my husband, but over the last few years, almost everything he says makes me extremely angry or annoyed. I have never felt like this before in our relationship, and I don’t know why this is happening now. No one else makes me feel this way.

I don’t know where to start on addressing the problem. I have told my husband a little bit, and he says he feels like I no longer love him or need him.

But, Abby, I do everything for him. I manage all our bills and finances. I cook three meals a day. I clean the house, the yard and the cars. I do everything he asks for if he needs help or assistance. I try to always be there if he needs to talk or vent. I stay in shape and available for him.

I don’t know what else to do to make him feel loved and to make my anger go away. Please help. -- MYSTIFIED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MYSTIFIED: I’m not sure your husband is “an infinitely better person” than you are. I wish you had mentioned one thing that he does to make YOU feel loved and needed, because from where I sit, you have been shouldering the entire load. Your anger and resentment may stem from your awakening to this fact. Those feelings may dissipate if you discuss them with a marriage and family therapist, preferably in the presence of your husband.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.