DEAR ABBY: I met a man, and we started seeing each other, but I’m not really sure about him. He’s a cross-dresser. I have tried to accept it, but I honestly don’t think I can. It turns me off. I don’t find it attractive, and I don’t know if I could ever be OK with it.

I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t want to hurt him, but I just can’t bring myself to be sensual with him. What’s the best way to explain this without hurting his feelings? I don’t want to lose his friendship. -- NOT MY THING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR NOT MY THING: Tell the man that you like him very much and would like to remain friends, but that you feel friends are all you are destined to be. If he presses you further or needs a reason, tell him the chemistry isn’t there. It is the truth.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of almost 40 years is not well. He has been a good provider, but his life stories are heavily laced with lies. That has been very difficult for me to live with.

I believe he will die before I do, and I’m uncomfortable about holding a service for him. His obituary would be filled with half-truths and lies. Because of his work positions, it would be expected that we have a service. I wouldn’t know what to say without the probability of repeating his lies. Have you any suggestions on how this could be handled? -- LIAR’S WIFE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WIFE: As a matter of fact, I do. When a husband dies, the person who is usually responsible for the creation of his obituary is his SPOUSE. If you want it to be truthful, do not repeat his lies. State his age and place of birth. Mention his parents and siblings. Say that you and his children (if there are any) are mourning the loss of a loving, caring husband and father. Omit ANYthing that has to do with his work life. As to having a public service, no law says you must. You can have a graveside service for family only.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.