DEAR ABBY: When my mother-in-law turned 75, her kids decided to throw her a surprise party. My two sisters-in-law and I offered to make the food, with one of them doing the shopping and the three of us splitting the cost and the work. We agreed upon a menu and hashed out a shopping list.

The party was a success. But when the grocery bill came, it was three times higher than I’d expected. Sister-in-law had bought only fancy-brand organic foods from a boutique store, expensive wine and way more than we needed.

Now, we’re planning a party for the parents’ anniversary. I said I’m happy to make food again, but I have to put a cap on the budget or be the one to do the shopping. This did not go over well. The family is taking turns making digs at me for being “cheap.”

At what point do I say they need to be respectful or I’ll bow out of the event altogether? I refuse to be shamed for holding the line on my budget or for making less money than they do, but I’m also not interested in giving them intimate details of my financial situation, which is none of their business.

Am I wrong to think that when I say I have to stick to a budget, they should believe me? They think I’m being stingy. -- NO PARTY POOPER IN TEXAS

DEAR NO PARTY POOPER: Of course you are not wrong. Because you are reluctant to reveal exactly what your financial situation is (and you are within your rights to keep mum), the next time you are accused of being “cheap,” simply respond that NOBODY has as much money as other people think they do. Period!

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.