DEAR ABBY: I recently met a man who, even though he asked me to sit down and have a coffee with him, then said he isn’t marriage- or dating-minded. I decided to avoid him, and I’m trying to rid my thoughts of him, but it’s difficult because I feel drawn to him.

The last time I saw him, I sat down with him, and he asked to hold my hand.

I understand that in dating we may find out that we are not going to get married, but we haven’t even dated yet! I suppose I appreciate that he’s admitting he already knows he doesn’t like me enough to marry me, but why ask to hold my hand then? Why ask me to sit down for coffee?

It’s hard to meet men where I live, and it has been a long time since I was in a serious relationship. To meet someone who seems like a good catch and then be told this is upsetting. Is he playing hard to get? -- MIXED MESSAGES IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MIXED MESSAGES: I wish that when he asked for your hand (but not in marriage) you had asked him if he intended to read your palm. I agree that he’s sending you mixed messages. However, only one person can answer your legitimate questions, and that person is him.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.