DEAR ABBY: I have been in a long-distance relationship for 11 years. I love “Roger.” He’s a hardworking, decent person. He says he loves me too. We got engaged three years ago and set a date for this year.

Well, Roger has called it off, but he still wants to be together. He put our wedding on hold after we had a fight. He told me he can’t marry me if I act like that.

Abby, he’s exaggerating the fight. He’s my best friend, and he’s always there for me if I need him. He lives two hours away. After I had a flood, he came to help. He couldn’t even see too well. (He got shingles two days before my flood.) Regardless of how sick he was, he drove all that way to help me.

Roger has his own construction company. He has remodeled my kitchen and bathroom and done many other things for me. This is the second time he has postponed our wedding. I can’t imagine life without him. Should I stay with him? Should we break up? I’d really hate to start dating again. Do you think he will marry me? -- ON HOLD IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ON HOLD: You stated that Roger lives two hours away. Have you driven those two hours to be with him? If you haven’t, it may be time you did because he may have another romantic relationship going on closer to home that would be complicated to get out of.

From your description, he seems like a caring person, but there has to be a reason why he refuses to make a commitment. Until you get some honest answers from him, a marriage isn’t likely to happen. If he is unattached, some premarital counseling may help to calm his fears.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.