DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was raised by parents who said that there is a right way to hold a fork, and never to speak with your mouth full. I am married to a man who holds his fork in his fist and who talks at the dinner table with food in his mouth.

He also will pause mid-sentence, put food in his mouth, and then complete what he was saying. I can live with the fork in the fist, but how do I deal with the mouthful of food?

A lecture on table manners seems pedantic and asking him to stop each time it happens is awkward (and doesn’t seem to have a lasting impact). And just watching him silently has an adverse influence on both my enjoyment of our meal and of his company. Should I just look away?

GENTLE READER: It puzzles Miss Manners that she receives more questions like yours from wives than from girlfriends (or from husbands rather than boyfriends -- the issue is not gender-specific).

As even elopements take time to plan, why is this just coming up now? It is so much easier to ask a new partner to make this small modification to their behavior for you -- you realize it is probably silly, but it bothers you, and you would be ever so grateful, etc.

Miss Manners does not say you cannot try it after the honeymoon is a distant memory, but she doubts it will be as charming -- or as likely to succeed.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.