DEAR ABBY: For more than seven years, my partner and I have been in a romantic relationship. In the past, our connection was full of affection. We would hold hands, kiss and hug in public. However, over the past year, his affection has diminished. While I trust that he still loves me, I suspect he no longer finds me attractive.

I have spoken to him about it and explained the effect this is having on my self-esteem, and that I cry myself to sleep. He attributes his lack of passion to exhaustion, despite having plenty of energy for other activities.

He’s 67; I’m 53. I don’t know what to do because he refuses to seek counseling. Please help. -- ROMANTIC LADY IN TEXAS

DEAR LADY: Because your partner refuses to seek counseling doesn’t mean that you couldn’t benefit from it. His diminished interest in affection, and everything that goes with it, is not necessarily a reflection on you.

Some males in his age bracket experience a similar lack of interest in sex. However, when they see the effect it may have on their partner, they consult a specialist to ask if anything can be done about it. Your partner’s doctor could refer him to someone, but only if he’s willing to ask.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.